Piapot confesses…

When i was a little kid, during my elementary years, most of my classmates bullied me around. For some reason, they find me sort of like irritating to their eyes – they’ve hated me. Often times, when I get to play with them, they act so friendly and nice, like bff’s and true friends do… when its like this, i was very happy; but when i turned my back, i’ve found out they say mean things about me almost every time.

As a child, i always ask my mom if there’s something wrong with me that’s why they don’t like me. Sometimes, i would cry in bed thinking i wasn’t good enough to be their friend. The next morning, when i rise in bed with my puffy eyes and runny nose as red as Rudolf’s, my mother would hug me tight, take me in her lap and say: “Naiingit kasi sila sayo anak, kasi wala sila ng mga bagay na meron ka.” [They envy you because they don’t have what you already have.]

I remember one instant that the group of girls in my class joined together against me. There was only 18 students in our class then, 11 boys, 6 girls, and me. You can imagine how hard that was. I was sitting in my chair, writing on my notebook when this girl just came out of the blue ditching me in their circle of conversation. She wanted me to hear every word she says, most of them all lies. I can even remember her telling i cheated on one of our quizzes, when all along she passed because i let her copied my answers. I sat quietly, pretending i wasn’t listening, then tears just flow silently on my cheeks. I didn’t say anything bad about them, i didn’t call them names, i didn’t burst in anger, i never fought back. Why? Because i didn’t want to be like them, becuase since then I’ve accepted that I’m different, because on that day I know I am something way better than telling lies and envying other people. I was 8.

My childhood days were not that pretty. To experience such in a young age was a struggle. It was hard and painful to be in a group of children who doesn’t want to play with you, say mean things about you and call you names without even doing anything wrong. It was like I am goldfish swimming in the deepest waters of the sea with sharks all eying on me. It seems that everybody hates you, just because your good, and you can’t do anything about it. I was an honor student, a love child, and came from a known family that is always there for me. Maybe that’s the reason they’ve hated me, i don’t know exactly.

I didn’t have a lot friends as a child, but one thing i’ve learned, and learned it the hard way, is to stand firm. Not everybody will love you, and like you even the least, but what you have to keep in mind all the time is that they have no right to pull you down. And this time there is only one way for me but up! 🙂